Saturday, October 1, 2011

dotMom (.mom)

So on a whim last year I saw a special early registration price for a new Life Way mom conference. I registered because if I decided not to go I could donate the registration. I was able to get a great price on the Birmingham Sheraton, an Alamo car, and Delta air fare so off I went.
My plane got in at the perfect time, I checked in, and walked over to the convention rooms with plenty of time to spare.
I got myself a great seat-I had no idea that the speakers Angela Thomas, Angie Smith, Vicki Courtney, Priscilla Shirer would be right in front of me,
Priscilla Shirer, Angela Thomas, and Angie Smith,
The emcees are Melanie (also known as Big Mama she got that name from her daughter who Melanie called a big girl and her daughter called her a big mama-so cute) and
Sophie aka: Boo Mama and they have a combined blog: bigboo. They really did a great job-very entertaining.
The Mom Squad-ladies who were volunteers for prayer.
Okay, Melissa Greene was amazing-it was worth going just for the worship, I was blown away by her singing. She had sung in the group Avalon and did a mini concert for us Friday night.

I am in love with Angela Thomas now. I have heard of her but never heard her speak before. I haven't done any of her bible studies either only because she deals with divorce, insecurity, self image issues. Today she spoke on Matthew 5:14-15 "You are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand and it gives light to all who are in the house." She made three points 1. The light is Jesus and through your relationship with him you become light 2. God is merciful and gracious with His gifts, He gives an abundance of light to all of us no matter how flawed or broken we may be 3. He gives us purpose v. 16 "let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

Angela made some great statements "there is an art to leaving some things undone so that the greater thing can be done" she told us to stand guard with our lights at our houses to protect if from the darkness "I am way more afraid of God than I am of you" we get up everyday just proving how much we need a savior "be the Sunshine!" "Be the Sunshine" is an awesome quote-I love it and use it constantly with my boys.
Angie Smith who is married to Todd Smith of the group Selah was there with her adorable twin red headed girls. She spoke on our highest calling which is to glorify God-our obedience to Him enhances our calling as a mother. She mentioned this book which I have read and think is awesome. She also said Jesus was pierced for a purpose-our piercings are for the purpose to glorify Him, we need to take our children into Jesus' piercing and let go of our fears.
The Duggar Family and here is their blog they just happened to be in Alabama building houses with habitat for humanity for homes distroyed in the April tornadoes and just happened to be staying at the same hotel as the convention. They are awesome-seriously! They were not planned to visit us at all, all a coincidence and a great blessing. They were able to line up by height in less that 15 seconds and come out and stand still on stage then
sing a beautiful song right off the cuff. The Dad was really funny, he pointed out all the kids and named them-his wife and two daughters were still in Israel so they are missing from this. I really think no one would have minded staying late and would have liked the Duggars to stay longer-they were a delight!
More amazing worship with Melissa!
Daystar
We had two breakout session on Friday and two Sunday-three of my breakouts were with Sissy Goff and Dave Thomas-both Christian counselors at Daystar in TN.
Sissy spoke on girls. Young girls are always looking to be loved-they want a sense of purpose to someone else. As a mom we define our daughter's worth. Girls are relational, can take in sensory information, they are care taking. They are imaginative which helps they develop a sense of faith. They need boundaries which create a sense of security. They also need freedom so they believe you think think they can do. Girls need to be delighted in-those who are feel more delight.

In the 6-10 years girls are fearful-they want the light on at night, they are still imaginative and concrete. A news item becomes blown up in their imagination and real to them. They are relational and responsive-call it out when they are being loving. They need oppertunities to feel confident, unity between mom and dad-she will work their differences and clamor for power she doesn't need which gives her a sense of entitlement. Girls need grace-when they mess up they need to know it is normal. Talk about how you as a mom or dad fails and help her understand her need for Jesus.

In the 11-16 years she is narcissistic-obsessed with herself and what other think of her. She is relational-has a group of friends she defines herself with. They have more power-make sure they are good girls and are speaking truth around each other. She is insecure. When boys fail they blame someone else when something goes wrong girls blame themselves. They are ambivalent-"come close-get away" trying to discover a sense of identity and find herself. Girls need space-privacy-they are working hard investing a lot of energy in keeping friends so they need time to decompress and re-energize but require them to re-emerge. She needs your strength as a mom-to know you are stronger than her. Be unpredictable.

In the 16-20 years she is relational but goes back to 1 relation-with a boy to feel like she is somebody. She desperately needs someone speaking truth to her now-about what God thinks about intimacy and her importance is not based on a guy but Jesus. If she has gotten curvier don't tell her-she will self-correct. Use a backdoor approach to exercise-as a family. She is her own person-ask her what she thinks-even if she doesn't say-she needs to think for herself. She needs respect-point out what you respect about her. She needs room to learn-a longer rope by increment so she doesn't notice a drastic change of freedom when she leaves. She needs to mess up at home and get consequences so she can learn with you-her parents. She also needs wings-to know you have confidence in her.
Dave spoke on boys. He recommended Flight Plan and the Parenting with Love & Logic series. He said young boys act first and think second. They need boundaries and consistency. Self-regulation is difficult for them, They are competitive-with everything all the time-give it direction "it's fine on the field but not at breakfast." They need reprieve, routine and responsibilities. Boys tend to channel to all their emotions into anger. When a boy is full of emotion he wants to move-most teach them to channel it into something constructive or it will be channeled into something destructive.

The 9-12 years are a time when they are searching for a sense of identity and masculinity. They crave power and profanity is an unhealthy way of breaking the rules. They need involvement-parents are to be "homeland security." They need an outlet to test their strength and mind, to feel risk and adventure and purpose or they will find unhealthy outlets. Chores show that the things they do-do matter.

The 13-17 years are biological chaos. They are arrogant and argumentative which is a cover for insecurity, they are very uncertain about who they are and are finding their individuality-separating from us, becoming more independent. They need adults around who will speak truth from them, mercy, limitation, consequences. Don't be baited. "I hear you and your opinions matter to me because you matter to me but I will not compromise on you being respectful to me."Freeset
I have to promote some of the sponsors for this event. Freeset gave us our gorgeous jute bags (below). This is an incredible story that brings awareness to human trafficing-Kerry and Annie-two New Zealanders who moved to Kolkata, signed for an apartment during the day, that night they discovered they moved into the largest red light district with over 10,000 girls selling their bodies along their street. So they got a space, hired some of the girls to transform it into a business-with lots of patience and training. They are paid twice the rate for an equivalent job and are able to support their own families. Over 170 girls have been set free and are making beautiful bags where 100% goes back to Freeset.
All the great things in our beauitful Freeset bag.
Sweetsleep
I love love love this group as well. Jen Gash was part of a mission team working with orphans in Moldova. The first thing that struck her was the overwhelming smell and condition or lack of children's bedding. Jen was overcome with this need for beds, Sweet Sleep now supplies beds and mosquito netting for orphanages. There are over 210 million orphans worldwide, roughly 5,760 children become orphans every day. 1 in 5 childhood death is caused from malaria. Sweet Sleep is careful when selecting which orphanages they supply with beds to make sure the directors wouldn't try to profit (by reselling them). Just $50 buys a bunk bed! I tried to give them $50 but they really wanted me to take one of the awesome homemade necklassess of rolled paper where 100% goes to Sweet Sleep. Erica loved it and can't wait to try and make one too.
Intentional Mom imom There were more organizations such as operation Christmas child and lifelineadoptions.org.
I thought this was so cool-the hotel gave me a $5 coupon if I declined housekeeping-no problem there!
Sophie says, "I feel like you are having a fashion victory" to Melanie-it was pretty funny. Melanie is on the right-I am so used to Hawaii "fashion" so this seemed particularly funny to me. Here it is-8am and the crowd is fairly sedate so the person in charge of the conference (middle) came up-this was hysterical. She says she puts on Kirk Franklin and does housework related aerobics like taking the laundry out of the washer and put it in the drier...
Priscilla came up on stage to help-she can move! Here they are driving,
Angela Thomas and Vicki Courtney also came up,
Priscilla cracks me up-her facial expressions and she can totally dance,
A third breakout session I did was Modern Parenting and Vintage Values. Sissy and Dave talked about: 1. entitlement-distinguish between needs and wants, have the kids make contribution to the family-chores they are not paid for, model gratification-they watch how we interact with others. Have them practice reciprocity-have them ask us and other family members how our day was and then wait for a response, make giving a ritual as who you are as a family. 2. disrespect-teach eye contact, please and thank you, Sissy says one the things she says most often is, "why don't you try that again." Model how to treat others, and require it-a bottom line, words you never allow and imediate consequences for saying. 3. forgiveness is a decision-require them to ask for it-root it in Jesus-He went to the cross without us asking. We can harm unintentionally as well but we still need to ask for forgiveness. Forgive with boundaries-I forgive you but I will not be in a relationship with you. Forgiveness is healthy. 4. Confidence-as they get older they get self-conscience. Encourage them when they fail-it's okay to acknowledge when they aren't the best at something. Home is a safe place-don't pick at them or criticize. Enjoy them-a time when you aren't rebuking, correcting, teaching. Don't compare them. Give them responsibility-they need to know you think they are capable. Encourage independence-to make choices. 5. Responsibility-don't rescue them when they struggle, don't nag-use charts, visuals. Start young, work is vital-by 18 they should have a real part time job, help them manage their money. Nurture responsibility-edify, encourage, engage, enjoy, empathy, we do more r's remind, reprimand, rebuke, resent, reprove. Show our kids we need Jesus, we don't have to be Him.
Vicki Courtney was next to speak. She spoke on how we need to find balance of being a good mother and a child of the Living God. Luke 10:41-42 "Martha Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things but one thing is needed and Mary has chosen that good part which will not be taken away from her." Martha was preoccupied by all that she was doing in the kitchen, she was distracted by a big dinner she was preparing. Vicki talked about how to have Mary faith in a Martha world. She made a joke how she told her husband when they were first married that there was going to be cooking in one room of the house-the kitchen or the bedroom and told him to choose which he preferred. She put herself on a technology diet-only using social networking 3 times a week. Martha was just catching what Jesus was saying while on the go and we too often do that. Mary was continually hanging on every word-soaking in His presence. Do we know how to relax any more or are we so busy. She read an article on relaxing from an 1894 Ladies Home Journal that talked about sitting and listening to God and making sure we filled up at the filling station of the Lord must always precede serving our families.

Vicki talked about how in this world we drown in a sea of choices. Do we try and over do it, to be perfect for the wrong reasons and to impress others-put on the big spread when just 1 dish is enough. Have we learned to do enough or are we chasing after too much? We must make Jesus our primary affection-Mary chose the essential thing-Jesus. You can't do the good thing (family, ministry, work) unless you choose the best thing-Jesus. Everyday life is full of being constantly pulled to do this, take care of that, deal with something else that the Best thing-Jesus is put off.
Vicki Courtney (right), in the middle is her daughter and on the left is her daughter-in-law.
We ended the conference with Priscilla Shirer. Oh my gosh-she brought us all a Word! I have done just about all of her studies and loved them. First she talked a bit about her family-she has 3 boys, the third was a surprise. She said they named him Jude because that was as close as they could get to Revelation.

This was an amazing teaching on Luke 5:2-6 Jesus saw two boats standing by the lake; but the fishermen had abandoned them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, which was Simon's and asked him to put out a little from the land and He sat down and taught the multitudes from the boat. When He had stopped He said to Simon, "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." Simon answered, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing: never the less at your word I will let down the net." When they had done this they caught a great number of fish.

We put out the energy and effort but it's not working out like we thought-it's not yielding the results. There is encouragement in God's word. The greatest thing he does for us is the miracle in our hear before he deals with our situation. We feel discouraged like Simon. Jesus sees our plight, discouraged hearts, disappointment. He is aware and notices our circumstances. He notices when no one else does. only God knows the deepest recesses of our heart. He not only sees but cares and sympathizes. Nothing is too mundane about our lives for Him. She told a story about she heard this crunching and looked in the rear view mirror. Her youngest was eating leaves and she thought, "oh well, at least he's getting good fiber" and laughed and said thank goodness God doesn't think of us like that.
Abandoned boats-is there something you've abandoned, just going through the motions, your enthusiasm has left. Luke 5:1 Simon got out v3 Jesus got in and uses it as an opportunity to give a message. Our vehicle of frustration-God doesn't abandon us in our situation. Invite Jesus into your boat. Jesus doesn't rebuke Simon-He has Simon get back in the boat but He comes too. God will help you deal with it. Everything is part of the story God is weaving. Others can really experience who God is by the clarity of how God responds in your troubles. Paul boasts about his weaknesses because he knows that is when God shows up. When he is weak he know that's when God is strong.

Cleaning the nets-Priscilla said if she had been up all night fishing and hadn't caught one fish the last thing she'd be doing that morning is washing and mending the nets-she'd be selling them on ebay. Washing intends that you will be using them again no matter how frustrated you may be. Coming here to clean our nets-not to escape life. We may feel like we are fishing so hard and not catching anything-we may not always see the results in certain areas.

Jesus tells Simon to go lower his nets-in the middle of the day-to do the exact opposite of what he is used to doing, to go against what makes sense. That's what He is saying-go the opposite of what we know. Simon says I was done but I'll obey. When you are done with your situation do you get back in with Jesus and obey. What do you need to do differently now?
I had the sweetest Alabama girls sitting behind me-Rebecca, Jennifer, and Kristin and I learned why southern girls are all so beautiful:
-they love to talk and since they can't gossip they talk about themselves
-they love coffee...long long long lines for coffee...very long lines for coffee...
-they love bags-lots of bags
-they don't go out unless totally dressed-they can make jeans look like formal wear (hence the need for bags)
-their hair is completely done and I saw a lot of highlights (another bag)
-they love accessories and their make up is perfect (all requiring another bag)
-they are really really serious about their football
-they are super friendly and do everything with friends
-they can worship the Lord like nobody else!
-and to quote Beth Moore "they LOVE them some Jesus!"
Okay, so now I had some time to explore Birmingham. This is a really cool intersection called 5 points.
I can always find a trail...
that's the Vulcan-the largest cast iron statue in the world and depicts the Roman god Vulcan. Birmingham started as an iron and steel town, the Vulcan was created for the 1904 World's Fair.
The museum at the Vulcan shows the history of Birmingham which was founded in 1871 just after the Civil War. The focus was on mining, iron and steel industry and the railroad. By the 1960's Birmingham's steel mills and blast furnaces made the city the industrial center of the South. Birmingham is the only place in the world to have significant amounts of iron ore, coal and limestone-the three main raw materials used in making steel in close proximity.

The original settlers who founded Birmingham were of English ancestry,
The city was planned prior to building,
how the Vulcan was constructed,
The civil rights struggle brought Birmingham international attention. Martin Luther King had once been a pastor here, he also wrote his Letter from the Birmingham Jail.
Birmingham and the surrounding area from the top of the Vulcan,

looking down from the Vulcan is a map of the city,
in the morning before flying out I visited the Sloss Furnaces,
this is what it looked like in full production, it is the only blast furnace and the 1st industrial site to become a National Historic Landmark.

low cost houses for the workers which attracted family men, much of the initial labor force were former sharecroppers and slaves. The houses rented for $4 to $6 month depending on if it had 1, 2, or 3 bedrooms. The houses were much better than what the workers were used to living in,
it looks all still and quiet now but it was seriously a dangerous place to work,
thanks for a great visit Birmingham!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a wonderful experience! Thanks for sharing it! :)

Christie
rhomeschoolhale.com

Traci said...

I loved your recap. Hate that I missed it. Email me the deal with the Duggar family...